“Brutally Honest” Woman Is Upset When She Is Told That She’s Too Judgemental By Her Friend
Hate is just a part of human emotions, so it’s considered normal to dislike something or someone. The way you handle it is what’s important.
Most of the time, people don’t act on it and simply ignore or avoid anything they dislike. It’s kind of like when you were in high school, when having cliques was still a big thing and you generally avoided other groups because you were not exactly vibing well with them.
A human disliking something or someone is somewhat expected, but being disliked can be incredibly difficult all the same. Humans tend to try to please people, and knowing that there’s someone out there who dislikes them can be devastating for some.
That’s part of growing up, I feel. The need to please everyone around you disappears as you grow older because you’ve come to know yourself and be confident in your own person. As adults, you can choose to hang out with other people even if you don’t exactly get along with them. Or not. Like this Redditor who posted on AITA.
”AITA for assuming my friend was keeping her partner away because I didn’t like him when actually he didn’t like me?”
Having friends is an incredible thing. They know your preferences and would generally avoid anything you don’t like. But love is more powerful. It’s another trope at this point that friendships are broken over romantic relationships.
OP and her friend, Ally, have known each other for 15 years and consider each other close friends to the point where Ally asked OP about her opinion of her partner after she introduced them to each other.
“I am known for being brutally honest. When she introduced me to Matt, she asked my opinion, and I gave it. I didn’t really see them together. I didn’t like that he drinks and swears. He has a professional job but isn’t very ‘refined,’ unlike her, and I found him a bit difficult to connect to,” OP said.
As anyone with a partner would react, Ally didn’t exactly like OP’s opinion, but OP said that she got over it and just “engineered it so I never really saw him” after that.
Ally and her partner now have children, and OP said that her opinion of him has improved since he seemed like a great dad to the children. But Matt and OP still haven’t seen each other much since being introduced to each other, as Matt was said to be always ‘busy’ when OP invited them over for a party or whatever.
OP recently got engaged, and both Ally and her partner came to their engagement party. Luckily for OP and her friend, both their partners like football and found that they got along well with each other.
Now that both friends have a partner, I think it’s only natural to try out double dating. So that’s what OP tried to do.
“Later, I asked Ally if she’d be up for doing something as couples, as Edward and Matt got on well. She was non-committal. A few weeks later I tried to arrange something, and she accepted for herself but “Matt was busy.” I explained I wanted to do something with the 4 of us when he was free. She kept stalling.”
Again with Matt’s busy excuses…
When OP kept pushing Ally, her friend finally spilled the tea. Ally confessed that it wasn’t a good idea to meet up because OP and Matt didn’t get along. OP insisted though. She said it’s okay now that her opinion of Matt has changed for the better.
Insert awkward pause here.
“She looked surprised and then awkwardly let me know it was because he didn’t really like me!”
Dropped that Uno reverse card on OP!
OP was upset by this revelation and asked her friend why Matt didn’t like her. Apparently, it was because Matt found OP to be judgmental and “too much.”
“I was hurt and told her I had assumed she kept us apart because I didn’t like him, not the reverse. She said that we didn’t get on, so what difference did it make. I’m beyond hurt and did react badly and told her some home truths about him. I regret this now and tried to apologise, but she won’t return my calls.”
Well, OP was very judgmental with her long paragraph about how Matt and Ally’s interests clashed, and she doesn’t seem to get why they’re together… I just don’t get why OP got mad when she finally found out that it’s actually her that is being disliked.
The OP confessed that she said some nasty things about her friend’s partner and acknowledged that it was probably an overreaction. She knows that she hurt her friend’s feelings, and now she’s asking if she’s in the wrong here.
Redditors have labeled OP as the a-hole. For assuming why your friend kept her partner away from you, NTA. But for the fact that OP got upset and probably spewed more nonsense about her friend’s partner when she found out the truth, I’d say she is the a-hole here.
“It’s literally “how dare this person that I’ve disliked for years also dislike me,” one person commented.
Read the original post below!
AITA for assuming my friend was keeping her partner away because I didn’t like him when actually he didn’t like me?
by in AmItheAsshole
