How can something be labeled as inappropriate when you can’t really control it, or its consequences, from happening?
Say you’re invited to a family member’s house and can’t stop yourself from sneezing. You get a tissue to clean up your nose and then dispose of that dirty tissue in the family member’s garbage can. Would you expect to be reprimanded for your actions?
A Redditor posted on AITA about his brother’s birthday celebration, which he and his wife were invited to. OP’s brother, single and living alone, does not get along with OP’s wife, but he wrote that they could be civil enough at times.
During dinner, everything was going well until OP’s wife had to excuse herself to use the bathroom. OP’s brother used the bathroom later on, but he came back upset. He proceeded to give the couple the stink eye after that, and OP was clueless as to why his brother was acting like that.
When the celebration was over, OP’s brother pulled him aside when they were about to leave and told him that OP’s wife left her used pad in his bathroom. OP was shocked because, apparently, “this felt highly inappropriate.”
OP’s brother continued and said that he didn’t appreciate what his sister-in-law did in his bathroom and took it as a sign of disrespect. OP took his brother’s side and apologized for his wife’s actions.
“He asked me to speak to her or she wouldn’t be welcome in his place anymore,” OP wrote.
So as the couple was on their way back to their home, OP asked his wife about what she did. The wife didn’t think much of it, saying that the brother was being ridiculous. OP then got mad and repeated his earlier sentiment that it was very inappropriate that she left her used pad in his brother’s bathroom. Mind you, and spoiler ahead, the used pad was disposed of properly in the trash can.
As most of you might expect, this turned into a huge argument. The wife asked what she was supposed to do, and OP argued that she should’ve disposed of it outside; she could’ve taken the pad with her and not thrown it in his brother’s bathroom.
OP’s wife called the brother an incel and called OP an a-hole for “getting in her face about it,” and the fight went on even at home. The wife is not speaking to OP and is actively avoiding him after the incident.
OP stands by his belief that his brother is right and that, “it’s his place, and he gets to express what makes him uncomfortable in it.”
Although I get what OP’s trying to say, it’s not like his wife just threw her used pad anywhere out in the open. It was in the trash can. And I feel like it’s absolutely ridiculous for him to suggest that his wife carry her used pad outside of the bathroom so that she could throw it away outside of his brother’s house.
Reddit has labeled OP as the a-hole. The comments section was quickly locked due to excessive uncivil comments, and I’m assuming it’s because Redditors were brutal with OP.
For the perfect, most civil response to OP’s question:
And one of my fave responses is, “It’s not your wife’s fault that you and your brother treat her basic bodily process as worthy of being shamed. It is, however, something she won’t put up with.”
Check out the original post below (and maybe enjoy reading the comments section too!)