When it came down to making a treatment decision, I sent my family away. In reality, they were headed to a Fourth of July family gathering and I opted to stay home. I needed some time alone with my thoughts, to do some more research, and to pray for guidance.
During my alone time, I ran through my options – radiation verses mastectomies. I reflected on my family history and the high chance of the breast cancer coming back. I reflected on what I wanted my future to look like, even the future of my family. Then, I sat to watch some television. That’s right! I had the house to myself and I sat to watch television. After all, when was the last time I was able to watch anything other than cartoons?
As I flipped through the channels, I came across a reality show starring Bill and Giuliana Rancic. Stopping to watch for a while, I found myself hooked on Giuliana’s own breast cancer story. The current episode was on her decision to have a double mastectomy. I heard the words “quality of life” and they stuck with me. That’s what I wanted! I wanted the quality time with my family. Don’t get me wrong, quantity would be nice too, but if I had to choose, quality would win hands down. To me, having to go through the extra worry every six months or have my young daughter worry even more was not living the life I wanted. I knew without a doubt that having double mastectomies was the decision for me.
To this day, my faith has walked my life path with me, and often times held my hand during the difficult times. I believe I was lead to watch the episode I did. I believe hearing the words “quality of life” was meant to be heard. I believe my heart, not my mind, lead to my decision.
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