Is This Young Woman a Racist for Serving Pizza to Her Boyfriend’s Italian Parents?

Who doesn’t love pizza?

Well, you may not believe this but a young woman finds herself being accused of racism for ordering pizza for her guests.

Posted by u/MilanoItaliano1 on Reddit’s popular r/AmITheA–hole forum, the unfortunate incident involved her boyfriend and his parents of Italian ancestry. She has gone to their house several times, and it impressed her how proud they are of their origin.

Unexpectedly, one evening, her boyfriend’s parents dropped by her apartment. They told her that they visited a friend and decided to join the couple for dinner. OP panicked. She had no time to cook because of her hectic work schedule. She opted to order pizza for all of them.

“The second his parents saw the pizza,” OP wrote, “they got pissed. His dad gave me a nasty stare then said that I ‘intentionally’ served them pizza just because they were ‘Italians.’ In other words, he claimed I was mocking them and their food and assuming that just because they’re Italian then they’d only eat italian food, which he called ‘racist.’ I was confused I said I didn’t think it was interepreted that way but he said, ‘If you have Asian guests over, do you serve them sushi? how would you like if we only serve you McDonald’s and fries every time you visit, since that’s what Americans eat?’ I was stunned by his words.”

From OP’s point of view, she ordered pizza because everyone likes it regardless of culture. She did not select it because she believed that what Italians want is only Italian food.

But the incident ended up with her guests walking out on her and her boyfriend further accusing her of being disrespectful to his parents. She tried to explain her side, but he was forcing her to apologize. OP refused to do so since her decision to order pizza had been simply misinterpreted by his folks.

Still, her boyfriend insisted that she had insulted them and must apologize for it. He also told her it would add fire to the injury if his parents need her permission if they want to visit him.

The whole thing has become too confusing for OP, who now wants to know if she had been really an a–hole for ordering pizza.

What does the AITA community have to say? A lot of eye-opening answers, which are good for OP’s boyfriend and his folks to contemplate.

One Redditor wrote, “Wtf? If they are Italian-Americans, then ordering pizza should not be a big deal. My parents REQUEST that we order pizza so that they are not a burden. Most pizza sold in the US is a purely American style anyway, not traditional Neapolitan. They are just assholes or first-gen immigrants from italy that look down on Italian-American culture.”

Another Reddit user commented, “Something that my dad always said when I was a kid was that we may have blood from different nations, but in the end, we’re just an American mutt. He did always push knowledge for the sake of being knowledgeable though, so he did do tons of research on the cultures of his ancestors. He just recognized that those cultures belong to his ancestors and that the modern American culture belonged to us.”

Meanwhile, this person’s response was touching. All parties involved in this incident could learn a few things about what’s ethical and morally right, regardless of culture, from it: “My SIL’s parents live maybe 200 yards up the road from them, and they (especially his stepdad) will go to their butcher and drop off steaks and leave. (They even expect them to cook it for them.) He will also show up and mow their yard because my SIL works long hours, they have four kids and live on two acres. THAT’S proper parent behavior.”

Another dose of wisdom from an AITA member: “Right! Hell, I have a best friend that is considered family by the rest of my family. She wouldn’t give a shit if I was to just show up at her house randomly when she’s home and want to visit, but I still call and ask her if it’s okay. Same with her. She knows full well she can just stop by whenever and come in but she’ll still check to make sure we’re okay with her stopping by. It’s just the polite thing to do no matter how close of a family you are.”