Keeping the connection between families is built with good communication, healthy interactions, and effort. There should be an exchange of efforts, especially when one member lives far away. A relative must also understand that they won’t always be able to visit. That’s normal, and you have to deal with it maturely. It’s not because they don’t want to spend the holidays with you — the circumstances just won’t allow them to travel for hours.
Moreover, a long trip isn’t ideal when a kid is with them. Instead of celebrating the holidays joyously, it’ll be a hassle. And if something went wrong, they might celebrate the occasion on the road. This was kilm22’s issue with her mother-in-law. According to her post on Reddit, her husband won’t be able to join them on Thanksgiving and Christmas since he is deployed. During those holidays, OP and her son would be with her mother.
However, her mother-in-law got furious with OP’s decision because she wanted to celebrate with them, too. “MIL lives a 6-hour drive away and is pissed I’m going to my mom’s with my son for Thanksgiving and is now demanding I take my son to her house for Christmas. I told her no, I can’t handle a 6-hour car ride with a three-year-old alone, and I also want him to wake up in his own bed on Christmas,” OP explained.
It’s most certainly challenging to go on a road trip with a three-year-old. A 6-hour drive would be energy-draining, and there won’t be enough left for the celebrations. The mother-in-law took the rejection badly and assumed OP was distancing her son from his grandmother. Yes, it can be saddening, but as an adult and a mother, she should understand OP’s situation. It’s alright to be sad about the outcome, but to accuse her daughter-in-law of things she didn’t mean to do was unacceptable.
Reddit users in the comment section also questioned why the grandmother couldn’t afford to pay them a visit. “NTA. You’re raising your kid alone for most of the year; she should go to you and help out instead of demanding you go out of your way to meet her demands,” eve_tpa wrote. Someone also mentioned that the mother-in-law could travel and visit her grandson since it’s so important to her.
OP’s post received so much support that she gained 1.8k upvotes. She was being realistic and saving her son from a tiring trip that would most likely bore him. The grandmother has to accept rejection once in a while, especially when it’s not intentional. They could celebrate through a video call or reschedule visits for another time. It’s best to join the festivities without grudges — having an open mind is a must instead of pushing loved ones on edge.Whizzco