Exhausted Wife Fed Up with Husband Who Can’t Stay Organized

“Being disorganized can affect your ability to get where you want to be professionally, decrease your productivity, and may even be harmful to your physical and mental health. Disorganization causes a lot of stress, moodiness, and embarrassing situations,” according to Daily Planning.

Life Sorted shares the following signs of a disorganized person:

• Often late for appointments.
• Difficulty finding anything like files, bag, wallet, and phone.
• Always surprised by deadlines and important events.
• Never having enough money even though work is stable.
• Always running out of supplies at home.
• Difficulty communicating and relating to others, computer files are scattered, and phone storage is always full of unread mail and other unused information.

This post on Mumsnet is all about dealing with a disorganized husband and a wife who gets burdened by his lack of planning. It’s this exhausted woman who published about the problem under the username BluetheBear. She wrote: “My DH can be a bit disorganised and lack planning. He is intelligent and has a professional job, which requires him to use his brain and his diary, but at home he just seems to fail to think ahead.”

To offer an example, OP wrote about how one morning, her DH decided to work from home. With his afternoon off, he planned to go out with his colleagues at work. And since his daughter lives near their company, he had also set to meet her for lunch.

According to OP, she was at home since she didn’t have work on Fridays. She was looking after their toddler, who was asleep. It was then that DH asked her at around 1:30 pm to give him a lift to the train station. She agreed once their child was already awake. He asked when that could be, and she replied probably in half an hour. She could drive him to the station on her way to the supermarket, and he replied, “ok.”

But then, the usual thing happened, as OP wrote, “DH rushes into the room quite stressed at 1:45 saying he needs to get to the train station for 2:15 and can I give him a lift and get him there. I hesitated, as he seemed so stressed, and sometimes he gets annoyed if I say no to things. He did acknowledge he was wrong to have not checked train times earlier, as it will take him over an hour to get there. We don’t live in a city, so it’s two trains he needs. I said, ‘Well, child is asleep, and I still need to feed him before we go.”

In response, her husband called a taxi, but it was taking a long time to arrive. Feeling bad for him for possibly missing lunch with DSD, OP wanted to help him out once again. But then, it would mean putting their sleeping child in the car, driving to the station, driving back home, feeding their child, and getting back on the road again to the supermarket.

Now she could no longer do it for DH. He should have have checked the train schedule early and not 30 minutes before his appointment, especially when he knew that the station was over an hour away.

Here’s a thread of communication between OP and some concerned commenters that shows one of the sad consequences of having a disorganized husband:

Botw1: “You seem to be vastly overthinking this. It’s worrying you’re so concerned about him being annoyed with you.”

BluetheBear: “Yes, this is part of it when it comes to things like lifts, and I was surprised when he said it’s fine as he’s called a taxi, but I did wonder how he’d be if the taxi didn’t arrive on time. I’m not scared of him but he makes a big deal, and it’s not nice if he decides it’s my fault and I’m just being selfish. He can be like that sometimes!”

Botw1: “Sounds like you’re scared of him tbf.”

BluetheBear: “He gets stressed quite easily, especially if he’s running late, but he is often late as he doesn’t plan well!”

Rainbowqueeen: “I’d be pointing out to him that he is behaving incredibly disrespectfully to the people in his life that he is supposed to care most about, i.e. you, his Dd, and your child. He’s already had one long term relationship breakdown – I’m guessing that this attitude is partly why. He needs to understand that actions have consequences and this includes driving away the people you love by treating them like dirt.”