Wife’s Family Calls Husband Selfish for Not Sharing Insurance Payout
Money can bring out the worst in people, with relationships and respect getting thrown in a trash can when an opportunity for easy money appears. And this is in spite of the reality that the money comes from someone else’s bereavement.
Should he share the insurance payout he received after his wife died with her parents and brother?
This is the question that’s been hounding this Original Poster who posted about his current problem on Reddit’s popular r/AmItheA–hole forum. With the username u/Few_Instance_123, he wrote: “I lost my wife unexpectedly, and it has been one of the most difficult times in my life. She left me with $200,000 in life insurance, and I used $20,000 of it to cover the funeral expenses. Now, my wife’s family is demanding a large portion of the remaining life insurance money.”
According to OP, his wife’s parents wanted a considerable portion of the money to rebuild their home. Their house was destroyed by a hurricane, and they didn’t have insurance that could have covered the damage.
Meanwhile, his wife’s brother was asking him for money, too, for college tuition fees.
What did OP feel about these situations? OP wrote, “I feel terrible for my wife’s family, but I also have my own financial responsibilities. I have bills to pay, and I want to make sure that I can take care of myself in the future. I don’t want to put myself in a difficult financial situation by giving away a large portion of the life insurance money. This is an opportunity for me to pay off my debts and buy the dream home me and my wife always wanted. Maybe I’m being selfish, but I feel like I am not in the wrong.”
When OP told his wife’s family about his decision to use the insurance money to settle his debts and build a secure future, including buying his and his wife’s dream home, they all accused him of selfishness. They told him that his wife would want him to share the insurance payout with them and he was going against her wishes.
Nevertheless, in OP’s perspective, he has no obligation to fund the rebuilding of her parents’ home and pay for her brother’s college education. When he and his wife got married, they had dreams for their own family. And now, he needed time to process his grief and to plan on how to start over again.
Was he wrong for wanting to focus on rebuilding his life rather than getting caught in other people’s financial problems?
NTA was the resounding judgment of the AITA community on this case!
From Beneficial_Ship_7988: “They’re trying to take advantage of a person in mourning. NTA. Don’t give them a second thought.”
From MissKitty919: “One would think that they would be in mourning, too, since she was both a daughter and a sister to them. But all they seem to see are the $$. So sad that some people are like this.”
From SelectCase: “This x1000. Your wife died, you didn’t win the lottery. 200k sounds like a lot, but it’s not. You’re likely going to need a good chunk of that money as you transition to a single income. And even if you didn’t need any of that money, 200k in a retirement account means you can retire 4-10 years earlier depending on your age. Would your wife rather you have several extra years to enjoy life or to clean up your families self-imposed messes? Flood insurance is one of the cheapest insurances you can get, because it’s heavily subsidized by the government. It’s usually like $50 a month. If you live in Florida, own a home, and don’t have it, it’s your own fault. Many mortgages even require it.”
