Boosting Your Self-Esteem Without the Influence of Your Past Relationships
Building the best version of yourself consists of developing different strengths, including well-established self-esteem. You must learn to be confident and comfortable with yourself even when others have much to say about you. If not, you’ll be stuck in a cycle where you strongly depend on those you share a relationship with. Yes, their opinion matters, but sometimes you must stick to your truth rather than worry about how they feel about you. Seeking validation from other people is mentally and emotionally draining. It would be best to unlearn the significance of other people’s actions toward you.
Learn to be truly alone and nurture your self-esteem by slowly being in your natural state. It will be a challenging journey, but once you accept yourself, it’ll be rewarding. You don’t have to wait for others, especially your partner, to see the good in you. Many people have repeatedly gone through such an experience that it has ruined their self-esteem and aggravated their anxiety. ImWorkinOnItIPromise shared her story on Reddit with a post on LPT Request. Her healing phase was a series of ups and downs due to her past relationships.
“I have long struggled to feel any worth when not in a relationship. After a breakup a few years ago, I worked on this a lot and got to the point where I felt much better about myself,” OP explained. “After a recent breakup, it wasn’t until it was over that I realized how much I’d slid back to letting so much of my self-esteem be wrapped up in the feeling of being wanted/chosen.” ImWorkinOnItIPromise also mentioned that it might have been because of how she was treated as a child. Apparently, her parents were not generous with validations, making her seek approval from different people. Pleasing others became a toxic trait, and she’s having a hard time ditching that part of herself.
With self-awareness and determination to change her life, OP asked the opinion of other Redditors. You’ll find lengthy comments that are truly inspiring and enlightening. Netizens were kind enough to give advice to recover OP’s self-esteem. “For me, I had to really internalize the fact that other people’s opinion of me is really none of my business. I’m going to be who I am, and if someone that’s known me for five seconds or five minutes or even five years decides I’m not what they want/need, that really tells me more about them than it does about myself,” zeroaegis commented. You have to be immune to what you hear from others. If it doesn’t serve you well, their opinions are invalid.
“So definitely put some energy back into reconnecting with yourself (and with others, too!), and on practicing treating yourself like a best friend. Cheer yourself on the way you would your bestie, defend your friend from bad actors and bad ideas,” lemon_balm_squad said. Indeed, you’ll only realize your importance once you’ve spent time with yourself. Only enter a relationship if you are comfortable on your own. Because even when you’re with a partner, you are both individuals at the end of the day. Give yourself a break and finally pour love into yourself — fill your cup before you think of others.
Build your self-esteem by getting to know yourself so the next time someone breaks you, you’ll see they’re not a good match for you. Breakups are easier to accept when you are aware that the person is not right for you. “Concentrate on what you like, what you want – just you. If they don’t vibe with that, cool. You probably wouldn’t vibe with a lot of them too. Someone will though,” coconut-bubbles answered. Instead of damaging your self-esteem, the right person will help you boost it. For now, being alone is the best decision — to not settle unless you are so full of love that there’s no room for insecurity. Prioritize your healing phase above all until your self-esteem becomes unbreakable.
