A Nasty Fight Broke Out Between Two Sisters Due to The Pressure of College
People face a lot of pressure in life, and one of those pressures is choosing the right school in college. Although you may be fine with your choice, those around you perhaps can’t help but expect things. Some families push their children to attend Ivy League Schools or the top universities on their list. It can be motivating, especially when you have been planning on attending one. However, those expectations place a heavy amount of pressure on the student, which can be unhealthy for their well-being. It’ll be the root cause of their sleepless nights, anxious mornings, and self-doubt. They’ll be more afraid of receiving disappointed reactions than excited to celebrate getting into a credible college school.
Friends and family should help see the brighter side of things, primarily when they’ve really tried their best. You must let the person see that it’s something to be sad about if they don’t get into their top school, yet it’s not the end of the world. As long as they’ll do well in college and earn that degree after years of hard work. Moreover, prevent comparing them to their batchmates accepted into prestigious schools. They already feel bad about themselves — passive-aggressive remarks are totally unnecessary. A Redditor can testify to that as she went through a tough time with her family, mainly with her sister. It reached the point that they got into a fight due to her being compared with others.
“I (18f) applied to many colleges, and I didn’t get into my top choices but still got into a few good ones. Since then, everyone’s been a mix of disappointment and shown pity toward me. It hurts me bc I tried so hard, and also, it just feels bad. On my social media, everyone’s posting about getting into top colleges and stuff, and it’s like ouch, but good for them because I know they deserved it! I’m happy for them,” Kitchen-Swimmer-9846 wrote. Since then, her sister kept pointing out how other people got into good schools. OP felt that her sister keeps rubbing it in her face — even mentioning names and sounding extremely happy for them.
“When she did it again, I just snapped and said, “Ok, you don’t need to tell me every time you find out that someone got into a college I was rejected from. I’m happy for them but … really? chances are I already know they got in because they’re in my grade, and I follow them,” and she got all mad at me and cold-shouldered and just stared at her phone the rest of the walk back home,” OP shared. Furthermore, it wasn’t just the subtle expression of disappointment but also how her sister called her choice stupid. She was proud of her decision, but it got difficult when being reminded that there was a “better” choice. However, it’s still up to OP, and they should be happy that she’s pursuing a degree in a credible school.
Kitchen-Swimmer-9846 can’t completely justify her reaction because she might have just been overwhelmed. But her feelings are valid, especially when all her family did was feel pity and act unsupportive. Redditors shared their opinions in the comment section and even cheered her up. “First of all, congratulations on getting in college! I watched a lot of acceptance videos on Ivy Day, and I saw lots where people with amazing stats might have been rejected by Harvard and Yale but got into UVA or Vanderbilt, both top 20 schools,” Striking-General-613 commented. “Anyway, I also saw videos from people rejected by their ‘dream’ school, but in hindsight, the school they went to turned out to be a better fit, and they bloomed where planted.”
Indeed, people are meant for something different and not to be in places others believe are good for them. Anyone can still achieve a lot in life, regardless of their school — as long as they are hardworking. “You may not have gotten into your first choice, but your college experience will be what you make of it. Grab every opportunity. Enjoy your programme and extra-curriculars. Make friends and have a great time. NTA – there’s some jealousy going on here. You will be just fine,” Dogmother123 wrote. College is the preparation stage for adulthood, and part of that is making decisions for yourself. It’s up to OP to choose for herself.
Apart from validating her reaction, Redditors advised her to talk calmly with her sister. Clear communication is important to settle the issue once and for all. “You are getting ready to enter adulthood, so start practicing now. Tell her you are sorry you snapped, and tell her how her comments about other people’s college entries make you feel. Ask her to not make those comments around you,” Impossible-Action-88 commented. OP then updated her Reddit post and shared the conversation she had with her sister. Apologies were given and accepted. She even thanked everyone who helped her maturely handle the issue. Relationships are surely saved by honest and open communication — a lesson as vital as college lectures.
