Her Mother Died From Breast Cancer At 34; Then She Got Her Own Diagnosis At 32
Rays of Resilience: 31 Stories in 31 Days. So many people around the world have been affected by breast cancer, yet no two breast cancer journeys are the same. This Breast Cancer Awareness Month, we’re celebrating a new survivor every day. Their resilience is an inspiration to us all.
My name is Charron.
My mother died from breast cancer at the age of 34, so I knew my sister or I would inherit the “Big C”, but I never thought it would be me.
In October of 2000, I found a lump while doing a monthly breast self-exam; I was later diagnosed with stage I breast cancer. I was 32 years old and just earned a Master’s Degree in Human Resource Development. I thought I had my whole life ahead of me. I had big plans for myself after graduation. I was going to find a good-paying job in human resources, pay off my student loan, and begin to move into the next stage of my life. I wanted to get married, have children, get a dog, and have a big house with the white picket fence.
In a matter of days, everything changed. I remember thinking, “I’ve been given a death sentence.”
Emotionally, I went up and down from panic to the elated feeling that I would beat the disease and then back to fear and despair. I had a lumpectomy, chemotherapy, radiation, and hormone therapy. I didn’t have an easy time of it. There were plenty of physical problems related to my treatment. Not only did I lose my hair, but every medication had bad side effects and I was constantly weak.
As the months wore on, I found my greater battles were mental and emotional. Since breast cancer usually affects women who are somewhat older than I was, I found a lack of resources for women my age. Ronnie, my boyfriend at the time, was also my caregiver and one of many in my support system. Mrs. Ethel, my manager at the time, was a breast cancer conqueror and a Christian, which was a double blessing. She accompanied me to my appointments, prayed with me, and was a comfort. My family lived in New York, so God gave me an extended family in Florida. God had it all planned out. He was the light in my darkness. My family came down to visit. They kept me in prayer and were supportive.
As a single woman with cancer, I didn’t know how to handle dating or maintaining relationships. Also, I wondered if I could have children because of the side effects from all the treatment. My young age and family history lent itself to a higher mortality rate and more aggressive cancer. All the thoughts running through my mind resulted in sleepless nights and when I did finally sleep, I was plagued with nightmares.
My doctor put me on medication for depression which helped me sleep. Thinking back on some of those nights, I remember while lying on my bed, I prayed for God to take me home to be with my mom because I didn’t have the strength to go on. But, God got me through those dark times. Though I joined a cancer support group and the women in my group wanted to be sympathetic and encouraging, I was the youngest one and felt out of place. My concerns about making friends, dating and children – most of them were past that stage of their lives. To fill the gap and to have someone who would listen to my specific needs, I began seeing a therapist.
In 2006, at the therapist’s suggestion, I started a support program specifically for younger women; Young Survivors Network, Inc. Young women diagnosed with breast cancer can find support services and workshops on breast health and early detection, as well as programs to help them build positive and supportive relationships. YSN also provides a “My Sister’s Keeper Program” for those undergoing chemo or radiations treatments – everything from house cleaning and purchasing wigs to massage therapy. We also provide one-on-one counseling and outreach.
In 2013, my book My Purpose God’s Plan was released. It is about my personal journey with breast cancer and how through this experience, I found my purpose.
On October 19th I will be 18 years cancer free. I don’t have to look at my scars and feel uncomfortable about my body anymore. My self-esteem has grown by leaps and bounds. I have learned from this experience that it does not matter who you are or what you’ve been through, you are beautiful in spite of your circumstances. Beauty comes from within and compliments who you are on the outside. It has also given a boost to my “I can do anything if I put my mind to it” attitude. The only roadblock is myself and the limitations I set. It has also helped me with my program, Young Survivors Network. I am able to tell breast cancer conquerors that your diagnosis is not a death sentence. To speak life and walk in your destiny and healing. With God all things are possible!
My Lessons Learned:
Lesson #1: It’s just hair; it will grow back.
Lesson #2: Everyone makes mistakes; we’re only human.
Lesson #3: Your physical appearance does not define who you are.
Lesson #4: Life is short. Live it to the fullest.
Lesson #5: Don’t sweat the small stuff and choose your battles.
Lesson #6: Don’t make other people’s issues your issues.
Lesson #7: As long as God knows my heart, that’s all that matters.
Lesson #8: My mate has to accept me for who I am. No exceptions!
Lesson #9: You don’t realize how strong you are, until you have to flex those muscles.
Lesson #10: God’s plan is not our plan.
Lesson #11: It isn’t over until God says it’s over.
Lesson #12: Learned a new word: “Whatever!”
Lesson #13: One day at a time.
Every purchase at the Breast Cancer Site helps fund mammograms for women in need. Shop our Pink Ribbon collection!
