Sometimes being family doesn’t give a person the right to comment negatively about someone’s life. Having too much expectation of that person when they are clearly happy with their choices is immensely offensive and infuriating. Also, talking about such things isn’t appropriate amidst a celebration, especially during Thanksgiving.
The family gathers together to have a great time and be grateful for each other. It’s not the right time to throw unsolicited advice and gang up on one family member who has achievements but still needs more for their expectations. The event is most certainly stressful when that kind of family talk becomes yearly. You have no choice but to skip the next one to rest yourself — how can Thanksgiving be a joyous day when you are surrounded by stressors?
This often happens to a lot of people, and one of them couldn’t help but rant on Reddit. In vovom’s case, his family continuously expressed disappointment about him not joining the Marines after graduating high school. It’s been years, and now he is 28 years old with a wife, but his relatives couldn’t let go of the matter. Thanksgiving has been full of constant nagging and comparing him with his cousins who became Marines.
“I joined straight out of high school, did my time, and did not re-enlist. Instead, I went to school and got a good job in a hospital that supports my wife and me. I’m happy with my life, but whenever I see my family, they always like to talk about how I gave up on the military for an easy life, how my cousins made it through and are still in,” OP explained. Family members started talking about his life when a Marine birthday cake was presented at the Thanksgiving table.
Due to being cornered on a day full of thanks in the past, OP decided to skip Thanksgiving with them this year. He told his mom about the decision, only to be called sensitive and immature. The mother was deeply disappointed, but vovom deserves to take a break from toxicity. Many Reddit users supported his decision, and his post earned 8.4k upvotes. It’s better to plan your own Thanksgiving and have a peaceful dinner for once.
“Listen, NTA. Military life isn’t for everyone. It’s hard. And it’s hard on families. Tell mom you aren’t the immature one. The rest of them are for being such giant AHs. Enjoy Thanksgiving with your lovely wife,” Careful_Fennel_4417 pointed out. Even though many of his cousins went through it, it doesn’t mean OP had to be like them. Everyone has a path to take, and the family should be happy that he has a decent job. They should realize by now that happiness and doing his job with integrity is all that matters.
“NTA. Cutting toxic family events to reduce your stress level so you and your wife can enjoy the holidays is the furthest thing from immature,” nolimitxox wrote. Prioritizing your mental health is essential, more significantly so when the family greatly contributes to your stress. It isn’t selfish or rude — family detox is vital to avoid blowing up and causing a fight whenever you get together. Someone has to be the bigger person; if it’s not them, it has to be you.”Whizzco